February 24, 2007

Six years ago February 24th also fell on a Sunday. Six years ago I woke up to an early morning phone call from my Mom letting me know my cousin was killed in a car wreck. They didn't know much, what they did know we found out later was a lie. What we found out was much worse than any of us could have imagined.

Six years ago, everything changed. Five years ago was hard. Four years ago wasn't much easier. Time heals all wounds right? Things get better with time. I thought so. I woke up this morning because I thought I heard my phone ringing. Except it wasn't my ringtone from now, it was from six years ago. I woke up this morning and thought, this year might not be as bad - maybe it's been enough time. But getting ready for Bible class, sitting in the auditorium where I sat six year ago, being surrounded by some of the same people… this year feels like six years ago. When I had to get up and go on with my life anyway. 

The lesson this morning was from Matthew 17: 4 - when Peter says "It's good for us to be here" and all the things that it is good for us to be in worship today for. For communion with Christ, for the heroes of the Bible to come to life through study, to be relieved of distractions from the outside world, and most importantly on this morning, because comfort is found.

Comfort in our Savior. Comfort in scripture. Comfort in the Saints we gather with. 

Although the surroundings were hauntingly similar, although the routine was nearly identical, although the people were mostly the same - there was comfort. 

So today - even though it's hard - I will look at pictures and smile, because he always did. I will listen to the song "Butterbean" and roll my eyes like I always did when he sang it. I will remember, and it will hurt, but there is comfort.